Feeling missed out

I was trying to push my limitations to get day off for this trip. At the same time, it is very difficult to push. But i am usually a person go for what i want. I am not sure exactly why. Why i m not push myself for something else, why feeling so strongly for this one. What i realized is my motivation towards not fear. but i am using all motivation from fear not towards. That is not a good decision. I am afraid to be left out for some thing really valuable and good. That is fear without realizing the real good value of this trip on my own.