Thursday, January 22, 2015

LESS JUDGING, MORE FACTS

I am recently dating a guy on line, met him once, very attractive, luckily, he is thinking me the same way. In the first week, we texted each other all the time. We finally decide to meet again at one point, so when we actually had a few drinks. My initial plan was not to meet him or meeting him for one quick drink. But we started to make out, then one thing lead to another... After that, he didn't text in about days. Sounds familiar? Logically, I tried to be this self centered cool girl that doesn't really need a relationship, very happy with the choice of had one fun night, and absolutely no expectations. But the truth is the fact he didn't text back in 2 days drove me crazy. I started to ask all my close girl friends. Funny things, I start to realize all the opinion is the reflection of their own life experience and their own projection. Divorced girlfriend ask me not to trust man easily, of course he is not interested in you any more. Asian culture girlfriend is blaming me to be too easy to give away myself; western culture girlfriend suggests me to shut off my mind and enjoy myself. I am still not sure what the real answer should me. Because there is no answer at all. I started to even google of the fact that how man usually act when they get what they want and all the so called " rules" in this " must follow" social conduct. I started to judge, analyze and predict all of his actions and languages, and also trust my girl friends so much for what they said. I totally giving away my power to other people. Isn't that my responsibility for my own reactions? Happy or nervous, anxious are all up to me. I had been so reactive to this situation. All of that is based on the self image protection or fear of loss , simply just missing data. Then I clear my thought a bit , simply decide that I want to send him a text for myself, if he doesn't answer, move on. simple like that. How many time our mind trick us like this?

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