DISTRACTION OF SELF IMAGE

I had a lot emotional break down in the last few days, not sure why. I listed a few moment where my emotion start to change. I realized that whenever i don't have a connection with others or imaging i was viewed differently or even ugly in front of others, or stupid or fat whatever i felt " NOT ME" moment, i felt crushed. I guess the conclusion is self image distraction. I care about my self image, just really want what i think of myself is also what other people think. If not, feel the whole world is not under my control anymore. Why do i care about self image, i guess it is very personal, i care, i am sure a lot of people do as well. What is reality? What if the version of myself in others are really bad in reality, how that has anything to do with me? Can i try hard to improve myself to please other's project of their own life. Can i ever get to their head to change their program of seeing things? If not, should i punish myself for it? So i often feel people are angry with me for something i don't remember i did or said. They are upset, Period. The only way i possibly can change might be our way of communication, the way to speak, the tone to speak, i know even though, it is also hard to void their projection as well, at least, that would make your life a big easier. Instead of changing yourself, try to enhance the communication skills.